THE SERENITY LETTER | NO. 04

You Are Allowed Not to Know Yet

As-salamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I like knowing what comes next.

I like having a plan, knowing what I am working towards, and being able to make sense of where things are going. Something is reassuring about having an answer when someone asks, “So, what are you going to do?”

But there have been seasons of my life when the most truthful answer was simply, I don't know yet.

And I haven't always been comfortable with that.

There is a pressure we sometimes put on ourselves to figure things out quickly. We want clarity about the decision, the opportunity, the relationship, the next step, or even why something happened the way it did.

I have found myself thinking about something repeatedly as though thinking about it for the hundredth time will somehow produce an answer that wasn't there the first ninety-nine times.

It can be difficult to leave something unresolved.

But I am learning that not knowing what comes next doesn't always mean I am lost.

Sometimes I simply don't have enough information yet. Sometimes circumstances are still unfolding. Sometimes I need to make du‘a, seek advice, do what is within my control, and give myself time before making a decision.

And sometimes, no matter how much I would like one, Allah has not given me the answer yet.

That last one can be difficult to accept.

We talk a lot about trusting Allah, but I think some of the real work of tawakkul happens when we don't know how something will turn out. It is much easier to feel settled when the path in front of us makes sense.

I am learning to be careful not to turn my desire for clarity into a demand that Allah show me the whole picture before I am willing to move forward.

There are things in my own life right now that I am still figuring out. I have questions I cannot answer yet, decisions I haven't completely made, and things I am asking Allah to guide me through.

I don't think I need to rush through all of them just to feel like I have everything under control.

I can still do something today.

I can pray. I can ask for guidance. I can gather the information available to me. I can take the next responsible step. I can wait when waiting is wiser than rushing. And when a decision eventually needs to be made, I can make the best one I can with what I know and trust Allah with what I don't.

Perhaps that is enough for now.

Not knowing yet is not the same as doing nothing.

Sometimes it simply means I am still on the way to understanding.

A Du‘a for Us

May Allah grant us clarity where clarity is good for us and patience where the answer requires time. May He guide our decisions, protect us from rushing out of fear or pressure, and help us recognise the steps that are ours to take.

May He give us hearts that trust Him even when we cannot see what comes next, and grant us peace with what we do not yet know.

Ameen.

Until the next letter,

Khadeejah

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