THE SERENITY LETTER | NO. 06

Some Things Take Longer Than You Thought

As-salamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

There are a few things in my life that I thought I would have figured out by now.

Some goals I expected to reach sooner. Some things I thought would be easier by this stage of my life. And there have been times when I've looked at how long something was taking and wondered whether I was doing something wrong.

I think we become used to attaching timelines to things, even when nobody has actually given us one.

By this age, I should have done this.

By now, this should be working.

I started months ago, so I should be further along.

I've been making du‘a about this for so long. Why hasn't anything changed?

And when life doesn't follow the timeline we quietly created for it, it can be difficult not to feel behind.

I've had to remind myself that taking longer isn't necessarily the same as failing.

There are things that genuinely require more effort from us. Sometimes we do need to stop, look at what we're doing, and admit that something needs to change. Tawakkul (trust in Allah) isn't an excuse for avoiding the work that is ours to do.

But not every delay is evidence that we've done something wrong.

Sometimes you can make the effort, take the right steps, ask Allah for help, and still find yourself waiting longer than you expected.

I've experienced enough of life now to know that some things make more sense when I look backwards.

There have been things I desperately wanted at a particular time that I later realised I wasn't ready for. There have been closed doors that frustrated me, only for something else to come from a direction I hadn't considered. And there have also been things where I still don't fully understand the timing.

I think that last part is important because it is easy to talk about Allah's timing only when we can already see the beautiful ending.

Sometimes we can't.

Sometimes we're still in the middle of it.

We're still applying. Still building. Still trying. Still healing from a disappointment. Still waiting for something we've asked Allah for many times.

And in that place, “trust Allah” can feel much harder to live than it is to say.

I don't think trusting Allah means we won't feel disappointed when something takes longer than we hoped. Nor does it mean we stop wanting the thing.

For me, it means trying not to let the delay convince me that Allah has forgotten me.

It means continuing to do what is mine to do while remembering that the outcome was never entirely mine to control.

It also means being careful about measuring my life against somebody else's.

We can look at another person's marriage, career, business, family, education, or progress and see only where they are now. We don't know everything Allah took them through to get there, and their timeline was never meant to become the measuring stick for ours.

There are things I am still working towards.

There are things I would have liked to happen sooner.

And yes, there are days when I wish I could skip the process and arrive at the answer.

But I don't want to become so focused on where I thought I would be by now that I fail to recognise what Allah is doing with me where I actually am.

So if something in your life is taking longer than you thought it would, I hope you don't immediately conclude that you are behind.

Look honestly at what is within your control. Make adjustments where they are needed. Keep making du‘a. Keep taking the steps available to you.

And leave room for the possibility that the story isn't late.

It simply isn't finished yet.

A Du‘a for Us

May Allah give us patience without making us passive, and trust without making us careless about the effort required from us.

May He protect our hearts from comparison and discouragement, guide us towards what is good for us, and give us contentment while we continue working towards what we hope for.

And when His timing is different from ours, may He help us trust that He sees what we cannot yet see.

Ameen.

Until the next letter,

Khadeejah

600 1st Ave, Ste 330 PMB 92768, Ottawa, ON K2J 5W7
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