THE SERENITY LETTER | NO. 07
What If the Du‘a Is Asking Something of You Too?
There are things I have been asking Allah for for a long time.
Some are connected to my work and the kind of impact I hope to make. Some have to do with growth, purpose, direction, and the person I hope to become. And then there are the du‘as I don't talk about at all—the ones that simply belong between me and Allah.
I think most of us have prayers like that. The ones we return to in sujood, the ones that follow us quietly through different seasons, and the ones we sometimes wonder when or how Allah will answer.
Lately, though, I have been thinking about some of my du‘as differently.
If Allah gave me some of the things I keep asking Him for, what would they require from me?
Not: Do I deserve them? Or have I become good enough to receive them? I don't believe du‘a works that way.
I mean: what would happen to me if some of those doors actually opened?
Because it is easy to imagine the beautiful part of an answered prayer. The relief. The excitement. The moment when something you have been asking for finally begins to make sense.
What I don't always imagine is everything that comes after.
An opportunity can require courage I haven't had to use before. Growth can demand consistency long after the excitement wears off. Greater responsibility can reveal how I behave under pressure. Being taken seriously can test whether I still remember why I started. And entering new spaces can challenge the things I once thought I would never compromise.
Sometimes we ask Allah for a different season without thinking very much about the version of ourselves that will have to live in it.
I have been sitting with that.
There are things I want to do better. There are areas where I know I am capable of more. There are opportunities I hope Allah opens for me and ways I hope my work becomes more useful.
But getting somewhere is only part of the story.
Who am I when I arrive?
Will the things that matter to me now still matter when life becomes busier? Will I still make time for Allah when there is more competing for my attention? Will I recognize when an opportunity is good for me and when something impressive is simply not mine to pursue?
I still believe deeply in growth. But I am beginning to understand that growth isn't only about what we gain. It is also about knowing what we refuse to lose along the way.
Our habits may need to change. Our thinking may need to mature. Some fears shouldn't continue making decisions for us.
But there are also values that need protecting, convictions we shouldn't become embarrassed about, and a relationship with Allah that should never become collateral damage in the process of building a life we once asked Him for.
And this is where the thought becomes even more personal for me.
Difficulty has a way of making our dependence on Allah obvious. When we don't know what to do, we ask Him. When the door won't open, we return to Him. When our own plans aren't working, we become very aware of how little control we actually have.
But what happens when things begin to work?
What happens when you become busy living inside something you once begged Allah to make possible?
I don't want to know Allah only through what I need from Him.
I don't want my closeness to Him to depend on having a problem that needs solving. And I don't want an answered du‘a to quietly become the reason I stop making du‘a.
At the same time, I don't believe every delayed du‘a means Allah is waiting for us to “become ready.” We cannot know that.
There are things Allah gives when we feel completely unprepared, things He withholds despite our best efforts, and answers whose wisdom we may not understand for a long time. Allah's decree cannot be reduced to a formula of work on yourself, become ready, receive what you asked for.
But even when waiting isn't because we need to change, the waiting can still change us.
It can reveal our impatience. It can expose how easily comparison affects the way we see our lives. It can show us where fear has been making decisions for us, or where what we called “waiting for clarity” was really a desire for a guarantee before taking the next step.
I recognize some of that in myself.
Sometimes I don't just want guidance. I want to know beforehand that everything will work out exactly as I hope.
But that isn't always how tawakkul works.
Sometimes we pray, seek advice, think carefully, take the means available to us, and move forward without knowing how the story will end.
The Qur'an reminds us:
“Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know.”
— Qur'an 2:216
That verse feels different when there is something you genuinely want.
It requires something deeper to say:
Ya Allah, I want this. But I want what You know is good for me more.
So I still ask Allah for what I want. I still believe in doing the work, taking the means, and knocking on doors.
But I am also learning to add another kind of du‘a:
Ya Allah, if You open the door, don't let me lose myself walking through it.
If You give me greater responsibility, give me the character to carry it.
If You make my work more visible, protect my intention.
If You take me into spaces I haven't occupied before, don't let my desire to fit in become stronger than my values.
If You allow me to accomplish what I once thought was beyond me, don't let me forget Who made it possible.
And if something I am asking for isn't good for me, help me trust You enough to eventually let go of the version of the story I had already written.
There are still things I am waiting for, things I am working towards, and things I don't have answers to.
But while I ask Allah to open the doors that are good for me, I also want to pay attention to the woman standing in front of them.
Who is she becoming?
Not because becoming better guarantees that the door will open.
But because whether it opens or not, I want this season of asking, trying, waiting, and trusting to leave something good in me.
A Du‘a for Us
Ya Allah, You know the du‘as we speak openly and the ones that belong only between You and us. Give us what is good for our deen, our lives, and our akhirah.
As we ask You to change our circumstances, show us gently where we also need to grow. Give us courage where fear has kept us still, humility when things go well, and patience when they do not.
If You open doors for us, give us the wisdom to know which ones to enter. If You expand our lives, don't let that expansion create distance between You and us. Protect our sincerity, strengthen our character, and keep us grateful enough to remember where every good thing comes from.
And if what we are asking for is not good for us, give us hearts that can trust Your wisdom without believing we have been forgotten.
Keep us close to You through both the asking and the receiving.
Ameen.
Until next time,
Khadeejah
Guided Serenity Coaching & Services Inc.
600 1st Ave, Ste 330 PMB 92768, Ottawa, ON K2J 5W7
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